Night IV.

Upon our haze of poverty-stricken panic, we journeyed to the ominous Target, to return unnecessary items such as Bic razors, Sesame Street toothbrushes and jean-colored leggings. Who needs smooth legs and clean teeth? Not the hobo folk!

But Target gave us the bitchslap we did not foresee: STORE CREDIT. Blasphemy!In a moment of temptation, we bought chips, salsa and a pumpkin spice latte. Hobo sin? We know.

Then came the last resort: British father. With five dollars in Christine's bank account, fifteen in change and a terrifyingly low gas tank, British father saved us with something called an Emergency Bank Transfer. Woot woot!

Now, don't judge, these funds will be used in the hobo way (to continue our gas-needing adventures and, of course, buy some crack).

Later that night, while bumming raunch magazines in the all-amazing Barnes and Noble, we happened upon a new discovery. Christine was dutifully reading her Nylon (as any good hipster should), when she lifted her gaze to find a delicious morcel of dramatic intrigue.

A Nutsack. A Meandering Nutsack. It must have been suffocating, for it had escaped the man's shorts in front of us and was waving 'Hello!' to innocent bystanders. Her immediate response was to say FUCKYEAH, text Nadine and switch seats. Don't fret, pictures were taken.

After recovering from The Meandering Nutsack, we decided to return to our home away from home for more shite-y Wi-Fi.

Upon resting our behinds, Nadine spotted the lovely Robe Carter (spelled like robe but pronounced like Rob-eee and Carter like the infamous Aaron Carter). Combination of bath accessories and pop bliss... We would like to mention that we robbed him of his nudey sea-diving virginity (cough). Shameless.

But wait, RETURN OF THE MEANDERING NUTSACK!!!! Oh praise the good Allah, for its owner has followed us to Panera! We feel enlightened by this religious experience. And are truly blessed.

We concluded our night with a celebration of breaking and entering. No car-sleep for us! Dum dum dummmmmm. After nudey face-washing and some abandoned sailboat stargazing, the deux returned to the dorms to break into the UNF Fountain's bean bag lounge, where the comfort of the squishy bean bags, free Wi-Fi and plentiful electric plugs enhanced their slumber.

Sweet dreams of meandering nutsacks,

Au Revoir.